Every aspirant in the spiritual path becomes a victim to the mood of depression in the beginning of the Sadhana period. You will have to overcome this mood through discrimination, reflection, Vichara, singing Hari’s Name, prayer, etc. This mood is like a passing cloud. You should not be unnecessarily alarmed. It will pass off soon if you are vigilant.
Do not mistake emotion for devotion. Whenever you get the mood of depression, sing Hari’s Name vigorously by sitting alone in your room with a melting heart. You may sing silently. This is an easy method to drive away this undesirable mood.
Try to control wild outbursts of weeping. This is a weakness and negative state. But allow the pearl-drops of Divine thrill or ecstasy to trickle down occasionally when you are in a profound prayerful mood or meditative state.
Shed the precious tears of Divine Prema when you are alone, when you are in communion with the Lord. Do not weep in the presence of others. The rare pearl-drops of Divine Prema are the outcome of melting of the heart by the fire of devotion and the fire of Viraha or painful separation from the Lord. Many people develop a habit of weeping and tears flow on account of frequent irritation of lachrymal glands that secrete or manufacture the tears but not on account of devotion.
Sometimes man feigns to be a devotee and sheds false tears just to make his neighbours think that he is a great devotee and on account of sympathetic action his neighbours also begin to weep. You will witness a nice scene of a band of weeping people in a Sankirtan gathering but in the case of heart there will be not an iota of devotion. Devotion is a very rare gift from God. Weeping is not by itself a criterion to judge the devotional nature of a man or a woman. Do not mistake the crocodile tears of a hypocrite Bhakta for the genuine pearl-drops of Divine Prema which inspire and elevate the bystanders. One may not weep outwardly and yet he may be a genuine silent devotee.
Open the doors of your heart. Let the lightning spark of love arise in your heart. Let the love pierce you through and through. Let the heart sing to heart. Let your soul mix with the Supreme Soul. Let the heart-lotus blossom and waft its sweet Divine fragrance. Let the Divine thrill strike the strings of your heart. Let the tears flow now on your cheeks. Let the Divine ecstasy fill your whole being.
Lord Hari is an ocean of mercy. He has boundless love for His devotees. He is a purifier of the sinful and the fallen. He accepted even Ajamila and that fallen woman Pingala. He drove the chariot of Arjuna in the battlefield. He ran to save Draupadi and Gajendra. Though He is the master of the three worlds, He is a slave of His devotees.
Sit silent. Collect the dissipated rays of the mind. Become serene. Repeat God’s Name: ‘Hari Om’ or ‘Sri Ram’ or ‘Om Namah Sivaya.’ Your happiness will know no bounds. God will dwell in your heart.
May Lord Narayana take you to His bosom and bathe you in the sacred waters of Divine Prema and transcendental Bliss!